I spent 4 years of my life picking and packing shoes in a dusty, dim and depressing warehouse for close to minimum wage. Job satisfaction was less than zero, and there were more than a few days where I thought about diving head-first from the top of the nearest ladder to secure a little bit of time off (and maybe some compensation). I like to think of the job as being as close to the dictionary definition of soul-destroying as humanly possible. It was the prospect of being stuck in this asthmatic’s nightmare of a building for the rest of my life that made me do something radical. I decided to quit my job and find a way out of the wilderness that my existence had become and get back into education after a 5-year absence.
A day in the life.
I think it’s important to clarify that myself and education were never the best of friends. My academic performance at school was mediocre, to say the least, and I always had what you might call an apathetic attitude towards study and revision. When I left high school in 2014, going to college or university was the last thing I wanted to do, and frankly, given my poor results, it didn’t seem like a possibility. I was burned out and jaded. I gave up on learning, and not to be too dramatic, I gave up on myself.
A lot of my friends went off to university, and over the years I grew resentful of them for it. While they were away expanding their horizons, studying things that interested them and having fun living the student lifestyle, I was busy staring at trainers all day long (with occasional breaks to stare at the clock instead). To be completely honest, I was jealous. I was jealous that they were bettering themselves and growing as people, while I was stagnating. I was jealous that they were putting their minds to use while it felt like mine was wasting away. It took me a while to realise that I was jealous because, despite my issues at school, I missed learning.
I had resolved to leave my job and find something to study, but I still didn’t know what that something was. I looked at a lot of different courses offered in different places, but there were only a few that appealed to me. Anything that involved maths was off the table, as the only adjective that adequately describes my mathematical abilities is ‘shit’, so I knew I was looking for something that would let me express myself creatively. Writing has always been something I enjoyed, and in fact one of the great achievements in my life was being crowned ‘Star Writer’ 7 weeks in a row at primary school. I’m sure everyone is aware that being awarded ‘Star Writer’ is, of course, the primary school equivalent of winning the Nobel Prize in Literature. I was also looking for something that would take me out of my comfort zone, as spending a chunk of your life wasting away in a meaningless job has a funny way of making you want to experience new things. Eventually, I came across a course called Media & Communications at West Lothian College. It seemed to tick all the boxes; there were opportunities to be creative, opportunities to show off your writing abilities, and there were elements of the course that were completely unfamiliar to me, like video and sound editing, so I knew I would be challenged and I would have to learn and take on new things. Importantly, I also met the entry requirements which was a pretty big bonus. I applied, had an interview, and was accepted on to the course.
My first day at college was a strange experience, a mixture of excitement and nervousness. Had I made the right decision, both in terms of leaving my job and the course I had chosen? Would I be able to make new friends? Was I too old to be going back into education? I was 23 when I started at West Lothian College and in my head, I imagined I would look like Gandalf shuffling about the campus, decades older than anyone else there. All these worries would prove to be unfounded, and while I was the oldest on my course it was only by a year rather than a century.
My time at the college flew in, for the first time in a very long time I was enjoying what I was doing. It felt like I had dusted the cobwebs off of my brain, and all the time I had spent away from education made me grateful for the opportunity to learn again. I never thought I would enjoy having homework, but 5 years is a long time and they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I felt more motivated than I ever did at school because I was studying something that I had chosen to study, rather than something I was forced to.
As my studies progressed, I started to look at options for after I finished college. Applying for university was a no-brainer this time around, and when I was browsing through courses, one in particular leapt out at me. Journalism.
Seeing that course title sparked something in me, a lightbulb going off in the head moment, I knew as soon as I saw it that it was what I wanted to do. Journalism to me is the perfect career, it allows you to express yourself, to get your views across, to paint a picture as you see it, and at the same time gives you the chance to make a positive impact on people’s lives, to be an inspiring force. I applied for Journalism at Edinburgh Napier and was given a conditional, a B in the graded unit of my HNC at West Lothian College. I met that condition and was accepted. I’ve only been on the course for a few weeks now, but already it’s turning out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I might be on the way to becoming Armadale’s answer to Hunter S. Thompson (I hope this came across as obvious sarcasm, I could never pull off that haircut).
The main point I wanted to get across in this post is that if you are unhappy and unfulfilled with where you are in your life, you can do something about it. You can dive into the unknown and push yourself. It wasn’t an easy choice to leave my job, I gave up comfort and security and took a chance, but I think life is inherently risky, so why not take that chance? It might turn out to be the greatest thing you ever do.